1. That moment immediately after killing a spider. It's that moment where you feel the relief wash over you. You know the world has one less spider to worry about, and you feel as if you have done the world a great justice. It's a very short-lived feeling, however. You quickly realize that where there is one spider, there are more...just out of sight...likely planning to avenge their fallen comrade's death tonight while you sleep.
2. Waking up to the sound of rain on my window. It's nice.
3. Being able to enjoy my birthdays. It seems that past age twenty-five, birthdays become something to dread. You are no longer getting older, you're just getting old.* Plus, most of the presents you get you could have bought yourself.
4. Logging into Facebook and having notifications. What? Someone appreciates me? I wonder who it is! I wonder what it's about! I hope they liked my status. Those are my favorite song lyrics, like, ever. Ke$ha is so deep. What if they liked it and commented on it! What if they're all comments! Gah! I'm so excited!
5. Waking up before my alarm clock. Everyone hates their alarm clock. It's a universal truth as absolute as death or the fact that everyone at, one point or another, accidentally swallows a beetle they mistook to be a Raisinette...Wait, what? You haven't? Well, you will. Trust me.
Anyway, it's always fun to beat your alarm clock at his own game. You can celebrate by taunting him, turning him off, or getting revenge by screeching in his face. That'll teach him.
6. Finding money in your pockets. Almost as good as finding it in someone else's.
7. Scaring cats. They get all puffy.
8. Cats that chase lasers. They are automatically ten times cooler than cats that don't. And their twenty times cooler when they're out for the little, elusive dot's blood, when they chase that thing with everything they've got. Only one thing could be better than this. (Hint: it's the same thing, only with tile floors.)
9. Mandarin oranges. They're like baby oranges.
*I apologize if I ruined birthdays for you.
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