"This does not bode well,"

...I thought while typing out this blog post, "This does not bode well at all for my productivity." It seems that this site may very well become my primary means of procrastination, perhaps for the rest of my life. It's way too much fun. Plus, there's a meter that measures how popular I am.

I've only had three blog views, and yet I fantasize that I will have at least one-hundred by tomorrow. One of them was apparently using Jakarta Commons-HttpClient. I have no clue what that is. It sounds like something I'd have to learn to speak HTML to use. I don't need HTML. I have Spanish.

Anyway, let me talk about something that has been troubling me lately.

I haven't had my first kiss yet. At least if you don't include my mother. Or my childhood friend. (she was like three, I was two). 


I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Alex! ALEEEX!! Me! I can be your first kiss, Alex! ALEEEX!" but I'm sorry. These luscious lips are sealed until I find the right woman. Or so I thought...

I recently landed a part in the school play as a WWII Sailor. When I auditioned for the part, he was to simply be narrating his journal entries. Stuff about D-Day and death and kittens or something. That was all.  But when I got the part, they dropped this huge atom-sized bomb (is that right) on me. He was no longer writing in his journal; he was writing letters to his girlfriend. Apparently, back home they were competition ballroom dancers (I'm assuming) because somewhere in the scene they are going to do the tango. Also, they are going to make out or something.

Well, not make out, per say, but rather reenact this famous WWII picture. It's a bit of a stretch, but I'd be fine with it if it wasn't for a little teensy problem. It's going to be my first kiss. I didn't really picture my first kiss being in front of an audience. Not that I pictured it. Men don't think about that stuff...

Perhaps this is life's way of saying "Yo, you've waited to long to kiss a girl. And yo momma don't count. Neither does that chick from back when you were two, yo." So now life has assigned be someone to kiss.

Speaking of being old, I'm going to turn eighteen in a few months here. I was worried that I would have to kiss her after I turned 18, since she's like sixteen (thus a minor). I've had nightmares. Horrible nightmares full of kissing and bad breath and police bursting in and slapping some 'cuffs on me saying "You're under arrest for statutory rape, you pervert, you!" Well, I haven't really, but I've thought about what would happen.

How do those laws work anyway? Look at these two different scenarios:


a) A 17-year-old boy and a 16-year-old girl kiss. Aww...how sweet!


b) An 18-year-old boy and a 17-year-old girl kiss. Look at that filthy, perverted rapist! Get him!


Wha-? Being done here is no making of sense. (chew on that for a while)


Anyway, I'm going to be 17 still when we put on the show. And I mean the play.


But yeah, first kisses and all that. Mine will be out in plain view for all to see. Don't miss it.